While I was driving back from my appointment this morning with the midwife, the sun was shining brightly for the first time in several days. It was warm out, but not hot. And I was noticing that it was really springtime - grass was suddenly green everywhere, the trees have a haze of green across them from the leaf buds, the magnolia trees and forsythia are blooming in bright colors, the daffodils are up. After all the rain yesterday, the air actually smelled fresh. And I was happy. Truly contented, down to my core.
And I was surprised to feel so happy. If you'd asked me a few months ago how I'd be feeling right now, I'd have expected to be in the middle of post-partum depression or at least a serious case of the baby blues. It hit me hard after each of the first two kids.
But I'm not feeling it. In fact, I feel like I'm still on a euphoric high that won't end. Maybe the hormones are different this time. Maybe it's the multitude of life trials I've weathered since Jonah was born 4 years ago that give me a different perspective. Maybe it's something else completely. Maybe it's a little of everything. But I'm not taking it for granted this time.
I'm just grateful to finally feel the bliss that's supposed to come with a baby. I feel so lucky and blessed to have the family that my husband and I have created.